Live from studio 6C

"The future Hall of Fame quarterback built his legend during 16 seasons as a Packer and will return today for the first time as a member of the archrival Vikings. Many grown Wisconsin men wrestle with that the same way a young girl might struggle with the fact that Kevin Jonas isn't waiting to marry her."

— Judd Zulgad, Star Tribune

Are you ready for some football??? In honor of my first off day in about month and the fact that this game is being televised across 91 percent of the nation, the roomie and I are hunkered down on the couch with pizza, beer and pink fuzzy slippers (ok the slippers are just me, but we haven't figured out how to work the heat yet) As we prepare for some post-Halloween NFL drama the question becomes, is purple just a costume for number 4 or has he gone the way of Lil' J and let the new uniform consume him? Can we hope for a Randy Moss style fan mooning (doubtful, but how awesome would that be!)? Will Jared Allen dominate? Will All Day steal the show? Stay tuned! 

Live blogging after the jump.

4:23
Vikings offense takes the field for the first time. The crowd boos incessantly. Brett Favre converts on third down to Chester Taylor. Gain of 20. I wonder if this feels at all like a home game to him. Aside from all the heckling, he knows the turf, the weather, perhaps even the other team better than anyone else. 

4:34

Oh no. The crowd may have caused this one. Confusion between Favre and the center leads to a fumble and great field position for the Packers. And just as the roomie was telling me about the death of the publishing industry. What an awful chain of events.
4:39

So the Packers get 3 out of the turnover but Percy Harvin comes back with an 88-yard kickoff return. Let's turn this momentum around!

4:44

Fourth and goal. Touchdown Adrian Peterson. I like Chilly's balls to go for it here. Vikings 7, Packers 3.

4:59

Touchdown Brett Favre! "He might be 40, but after getting his arm surgically repaired at the end of last season, Favre is throwing bullets again." Hello. Everyone knows 40 is the new 30. Just ask Jennifer Aniston. Go Vikings!

5:09

My dad might be 1,000 miles away, but I can guarantee he's saying "All day baby, all day," right now. It's kind of his catch phrase. Along with, "I wish to challenge you," and "Packers on a stick." Oh, and there was that one time he asked me about the movie Man Without a Country (i.e. No Country For Old Men) but that's for another post.

5:27

It's another two-minute drill for Favre and Co. and a great throw to Sidney Rice on a slant leads to another Minnesota Vikings First Down! 

5:30

Running play? Really? And not even to AD? I'm all for catching them off guard, but I'd like to see a bit more aggression. Longwell for the field goal, and it's good. Vikings 17, Packers 3.

Halftime

5:58

Eek! I got distracted purchasing Rockettes tickets! But way to go Percy Harvin! What a way to start the second half for the Vikings. Just have to keep it up for another 27 minutes...

6:20

Oh no! Did I speak too soon? Momentum has clearly swung in favor of the home team and I need Jared Allen to put a stop to this asap. Plus, my fantasy team could really use a Vikings Defense interception or fumble recovery about now. Three sacks are not enough. I demand results.

6:39

Sometimes it helps just to close your eyes and hum a happy tune, or at least take a break from the TV to watch the cast of Glee sing the National Anthem at the World Series. Either way, by the time I turned the game back on, it was first and goal for the Vikings, and Favre just turned it into six. Sigh of relief.

7:03

Love the screen pass to Peterson on first down. 44-yard gain. I'm getting so nervous!

7:07

Fourth touchdown pass of the game for number 4. What a performance. And look at him jumping up and down! So adorable...

7:22

Vikes win! Vikes win! Vikes win!

Happy Halloween!

"Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen, 

Voices whisper in the trees, “Tonight is Halloween!”

— Dexter Kozen

And in honor of combining the themes of football and fashion, my favorite Halloween costume of the year is: The Plaxico Burress.

Just buy a Plax jersey online, cover your right leg in fake blood, then limp around while holding a fake gun for four hours. 

Should get some good laughs. Have a great day everyone! I'm off to sell some clothes!

Six Feet Under

“It’s not so much a football blog as comment on football blogs...”

For starters, here are some reasons why the number six is awesome.
I was born on the sixth! That has to be divinely inspired right?
The Vikings are now 6-0 and atop the NFC.
Sextuplets = six babies = adorable
Six cupcakes (or any baked good for that matter) make up a half-dozen, which is infinitely cuter than a whole dozen
Balloon Boy Falcon Heene was six years old which doesn’t really make him awesome but the fact that we all spent six hours glued to our TVs a week ago is

Moving on, I lost in fantasy last week and only came in middle of the pack in the pick ‘em league but I’m not too upset given that I spent approximately 1.2 seconds setting my lineups. This whole working 70 hours a week thing is getting old.

I also missed the Missouri game (work, what else is new), but it doesn’t sound like I really missed too much. We play Texas at home on Saturday while celebrating homecoming, but looks to me like people are more excited about the parade and house decks than the actual game. I just hope we can keep it close. Fun fact of the day. The University of Missouri established the first homecoming tradition in 1911, inviting all alumni to “come home” for the annual border battle game against the Kansas Jayhawks. The two teams tied 3-3 but a new tradition was born that quickly spread to colleges and high schools around the country.

Finally, it looks like Denver might be for real this season. I didn’t want to believe it, hoping San Diego could pull out a big division win at home on Monday night, but my sis wasn’t there to cheer them an and they fell to the Broncos. A pre-season blog I read in September picked the Broncos as their sleeper playoff pick and it seems they might have been right.

Fashionably Late

A dedicated reader informed me I might be slacking on the fashion side of things, and who am I to deprive the people of what they want. I recently started a part-time job in retail and can tell you everything you want to know about the world’s finest purveyors of Italian Cashmere. Fun fact number one: The underbelly of a goat isn’t white and that fine sweater you just bought shouldn’t be either. Point is, it’s time to break the huddle and balance this blog. Hut Hut Hut Hike!

Read the latest fashion gossip after the jump!

Between Lindsay Lohan’s fashion debacle, French Vogue’s faux-pau and Ralph Lauren’s blatant support for eating disorders, the world of fashion has been actually been making headlines this month.



I just read this morning that LiLo’s probation has been extended by a year. Something about not showing up for her alcohol awareness classes… Unfortunately the probation doesn’t also extend to her fashion career. After critics panned her Ungaro fashion show in Paris, calling it “an embarrassment” and “a cynical fiasco” she called it a “fairytale” and said she “couldn’t be happier.” She must have been on some powerful, err, medication. She’s since mellowed her tune a bit, blaming a lack of time to put together a full collection, but that still doesn’t explain the nipple tassel fiasco, does it? Have no fear though, Ungaro is keeping her on, so I’m sure more excitement will follow.



The fashion industry hates black people, or at least that’s what the Kanye-West inspired critics of French Vogue are claiming, and it’s hard not to believe them. The latest issue of French Vogue, a publication known for going over the top, included a 14-page fashion spread of Dutch model Lara Stone in blackface. Even more unfortunate is the fact that the entire rest of issue is devoid of actual black models. This whole controversy is bringing to light the blatant racism in the fashion industry (even Naomi Campbell was recently brushed off) and the lack of opportunity for models of color.



Last week, model Filippa Hamilton-Palmstierna spoke out on the Today Show, claiming she was fired from Ralph Lauren for being too fat. A company spokesman claimed the 5-foot-eight, 120-pound model was let go, “as a result of her inability to meet the obligations under her contract with us.” We all know what that means. The celery diet just wasn’t cutting it. Making matters worse, Ralph Lauren already claimed responsibility for the Photoshop butchering that resulted in this Blue Line label ad. A true disgrace to a surprisingly well-proportioned and beautiful model.

High fives might be in order

“While playing beer pong, if you throw it too far and completely miss the table, it is now called a "JaMarcus Russell."

First things first. If the Jets win tonight, I’m $20 richer, so let’s go Sanchez and Co. Of course, I have to thank my very own Touchdown Copernicus for giving me the definitive upset hint of the week: Bengals over Ravens. If only I had trusted him twice and taken Seattle; the money would already be spent.

It was another big win for the Vikings despite their hapless opponent. Coming off a short week is always tough and the Vikes dominated the game from the beginning. Does anyone remember the last time an NFL team from Missouri won a game? No seriously… I think I was still living in the dorms.

Now on to my potentially favorite new NFL topic: quarterbacks worse than Tarvaris Jackson. Meet JaMarcus Russell. The first overall pick in the 2007 NFL draft, he is in line to go down as one of the biggest busts of all time. He went 8 for 13 yesterday against the Giants for 100 yards, no touchdowns, no interceptions and three fumbles. Believe it or not, these numbers actually helped improve his stats. As my dad would say, “He’s T. Jack’s Mississippi.”

Un4gettable

In your face Green Bay!


Never easy against Pack


But I’ll take it, SKOL!!!

—   MN Vikings Blogger

Sorry for the delay in this post, but it’s been such an exciting week in the world of my favorite sports teams, I couldn’t seem to put down the remote and lift up the laptop.

Monday started with an intense Vikings/Packers rivalry matchup at the Dome. I watched the game with GASP some Packers fans at the ESPN Zone in Times Square, only because I was fully confident they would shut up by halftime. The crowd overall was pretty mixed with a combination of Favre supporters and Favre haters, many of whom left after his third touchdown. For those keeping track, he racked up 23.32 fantasy points. Too bad FutbolGirl didn’t play him, opting instead for the lackluster Tony Romo who practically went negative. That’s what you get for breaking up with Jessica Simpson via text message on her birthday. He probably hired that coyote to eat her dog too. Poor Jessica.

Tuesday brought the much-anticipated Twins/Tigers playoff to determine the American League Central division winner. I’ve never seen so many Twins fans in New York! Unfortunately they were the worst kind of fair-weather, only cheering for my beloved Twinkies so that their precious Yankees could beat up on them later in the week. Either way, I think that added support gave the Twins just the 12^th inning boost they needed to topple the Tigers. That team never ceases to surprise me.

Thursday, thinking I was on a roll of possibly the best sports week ever, I whipped out my new gold heals and prepared to M-I-Z myself horse. I met up with the NYC chapter of the Mizzou Alumni Association for some cheap beer, fight songs and a high-five from Truman the Tiger. Unfortunately that was about as exciting as the night got, as my fellow Missouri friends and I were forced to endure one of the most boring halves of football I’ve ever witnessed. When a safety is the most exciting scoring drive of the half, “Houston we have a problem.” We didn’t stay much past halftime, and it doesn’t sound like we missed much, but I’m not giving up hope. We play at Oklahoma State next weekend, which is a tough matchup, but then it’s back to Columbia for Homecoming and some Longhorns on a stick.

Bye week bliss

“We have ‘bye’ on the schedule next week and I think we can beat them.”
— Charlie Weiss

Sometimes a bye week is just what the doctor ordered to pull your team out of a slump. Not that the fabulous Missouri Tigers were in a slump or anything. It’s the sportswriters I refer to here. Last week I grumbled that at 4-0, my beloved Tigers didn’t even crack the AP top-25. I claimed reverse bias. Half the sports writers in this country probably went to Mizzou and would hate to have their ethics called into question. Well question no longer folks because as the Missouri Tigers sat in the lounge of South Hall (lamest dorm name ever, I know, but I hear they have flat screens!) they watched their stock rise as Houston, Georgia, Michigan and Cal all lost. The Tigers now go into Thursday’s primetime matchup against Nebraska ranked 24 in the AP and 18 in the Coach’s poll. According to espn.com, “Sophomore quarterback Blaine Gabbert has been spectacular, throwing for 1,161 yards with 11 touchdowns. He ranks No. 4 nationally in pass efficiency and hasn't thrown an interception in 131 attempts.” Oh, and judging by his constant Twitter updates, he also likes G&D pizza.

My fantasy team also unexpectedly benefited from bye-week player swaps and it looks like I’m headed for my first victory of the season :: fingers crossed :: With Larry Fitzgerald out on a bye, I played Clavin Johnson, Mike Sims-Walker and Lavernaus Coles at wide receiver. The first two performed true to form with CJ racking up 140 all-purpose yards and MSW catching two TDs. LC (fitting name I’m coming to find) continues to disappoint, and would have been benched this week if both Fitz and Maclin weren’t out. Maybe the Bengals need to hire Kristin Cavallari to shake things up Hills style.

My quarterback Matt-swap was the best surprise of the week. I had to start Castle instead of Ryan knowing that the Chiefs are terrible this year and would be going up against a tough Giants defense. I didn’t have much hope. But, despite throwing for just 127 yards, he threw 2 TDs and no picks are racked up 15.79 fantasy points. Take that Drew Brees!

So, as I gear up for a long-awaited Monday night matchup, I’ve got a healthy lead and the Vikings defense and Ryan Grant going tonight. I can smell the victory. Go Vikings!!!

Three's a crowd

"Repel them, repel them, make them relinquish the ball.” 

— Harvard football cheer

Okay, so it doesn’t have the same ring as “That’s all right, that’s okay, you’ll all work for us someday,” or “3 points is a field goal, two points is a safety, safety school, safety school,” but seeing as those have both been banned by the school administration, I figured I’d play by the rules. I took in the sights and sounds of the Harvard/Brown game Friday night and in a thrilling matchup of over-educated, under-weight “football players” saw the Crimson defeat the Bears 24-21. Granted, we didn’t sit in the student section, so maybe the shirtless minority clad in crimson power beads has a bit more respect for the sport, but the guy next to me actually asked if the quarters had always been 15 minutes long. True Story. Editors note: to his credit, the game was shortened from 70 to 60 minutes in 1910 during the formation of the NCAA. I highly doubt this is what he was referring to. As an aside, apparently Hermione Granger, err Emma Watson was in the Brown stands. Had I known this at the time this post could have taken an entirely different turn.

Click below for more random musings and a totally awesome song!


All my teams are undefeated!

On Vikings On Tigers On Jets and On Giants. On Sanchez on Manning on Favre the defiant!

(okay, this chilly weather also has me in the mood for Christmas songs!) I know it’s still early in the season, but I got to figure at least one of these teams will make something of themselves and, given my lack of permanent address, I’ll feel free to claim whichever one I choose.

Q: Why is Nebraska’s football field artificial turf and not real grass?
A: So the cheerleaders won’t graze.

I’m probably irrationally angry with the College Football AP Poll for not ranking the Missouri Tigers despite our 4-0 record, but when we make Nebraska cry next Thursday under the lights, I’m pretty sure they’ll take us seriously.

"I Think Therefore I am not a packer fan." — Descartes

It’s rivalry week in Minnesota, which means I need to intensify my hatred toward our cheesy brethren. The Gophers host the Badgers at the new TCF Stadium on Saturday and the Vikings host the Packers at the Dome for some Monday night madness.

xoxo Gossip Girl

Spotted at LAX wearing her purple Mrs. and Mr. Odom sweats: Kim Kardashian hopping on the first flight to New Orleans. What’s the matter ‘Lil K? Feeling left out now that one big sis is preggers and the other just got hitched. Better rekindle your love affair with Saints running back Reggie Bush before the press forgets why you’re famous. Oh wait, they already did…

It Takes Two

“Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.”

 

Detroit and I have more in common than I’d like to think. We’re both Midwesterners who like to pretend we’re big city material (but really, who are we kidding?) we’re both 70 percent unemployed and we’re both sitting squarely in the football cellar at 0-2. What’s caused this downward spiral? A series of bad luck (for me that is, Detroit should have seen the auto-market crash coming like a quarterback blitz on third and long). You see, points-wise, I’m second in my league with 149, but due to some poorly timed competition and freakish play from Indianapolis tight end Dallas Clark, there is a doughnut in my win column and it certainly doesn’t have rainbow colored sprinkles.

 

But enough whining. I’ve got my game face on and I’m ready to tackle Team Hate. After conducting some thorough research (i.e. oh he looks nice) I dropped Vikings wide receiver and fantasy benchwarmer Sidney Rice in favor of Jacksonville standout Mike Sims-Walker. According to some guy on some Web site I’ve never heard of before, “He is a sleeper Fantasy option going forward and could have a very nice year.” Plus, with ex-Vike Troy Williamson on IR, MSW should get some good playing time.

 

In other fantasy news, both Clinton Portis and Marion Barber “el Tercero” are dealing with injuries and questionable for this weekend’s games. It sounds like Portis is more likely to play than Barber, so despite his lackluster stats, I’ll probably keep him in another week. Team Hate is bringing the heat with Randy Moss and Andrew Johnson at WR, but I’m banking on Larry Fitzgerald to light it up and bring me my first big W of the season.

2009 Primetime Emmys Style Recap

Everyone knows that personality counts for more than looks…

Which is why Neil Patrick Harris is the hands-down winner of this year’s Primetime Emmy Awards. I mean seriously. It was legen… wait for it... wait for it... I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the next part of the word is…dary!

BUT everyone loves some good red carpet fashion gossip so along with People.com I’ve put together my list of the good, the bad and the downright ugly. Just click on my awesome "read more" link below to check it out!

The Good
Mariska Hargitay: The Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit star shined in her Carolina Herrera silver gown, paired with Fred Leighton jewels and Christian Louboutin shoes.
My thoughts: Mariska gets my vote for overall best dressed. I just wish I could see her shoes!

Julia Louis-Dreyfus: The nominee for The New Adventures of Old Christine is ageless in her bold blue Vera Wang gown, coordinated Jimmy Choo heels, Neil Lane jewels and Judith Leiber box clutch.
My thoughts: Love the color! A close second place.

Kate Walsh: The Private Practice star worked a high-low mix, pairing her stunning pale blue, hand-pleated J. Mendel gown, Christian Louboutin jeweled heels and Stephen Russell jewelry with an Aldo clutch and hair by Suave.
My thoughts: Classic, timeless, and you can kind of see her Louboutins peeking out.

Sandra Oh: The TV doc gets pulses racing in a gold lace, slim Marchesa sheath gown with a rope belt, Jimmy Choo heels, David Yurman ring, Marchesa crocodile clutch and Tacori earrings.
My thoughts: Such an improvement over her scrubs!

Kim Kardashian: The reality star is wearing a white Ina Soltani gown with one-sleeve, Swarovski clutch and oversized hoop earrings.
My thoughts: Votes are split here, with People placing her on the Best Dressed list and HuffPo on the Worst, but I have to give her props for tweeting about her pre-show wardrobe malfunction.

The Bad
Blake Lively: Spotted: A Gossip Girl star looking sizzling in her red-hot Versace gown, Christian Louboutin pumps, Lorraine Schwartz diamonds and a long braid.
My thoughts: As my roomie put it, “Guess it's not just the wardrobe people at Gossip Girl that like to do torturous things to Blake Lively's chesticles. She also appears to be rocking weird Lara Croft hair.”

Leighton Meester: The Gossip Girl star adds drama to her Bottega Veneta white gown – check out those knotted straps! – with her Cathy Waterman jewelry and matching crimson pout and Bottega Veneta clutch.
My thoughts: Gossip Girl strikes out again. Those sleeves remind of something awful my mom would have tried to dress me in.

Jenna Fischer: The Office star showcases her slim figure in a black Reem Acra mermaid gown, Sutra diamond earrings and an Amrapali citrine and diamond cuff.
My thoughts: This looks like a prom dress gone bad.

Chloe Sevigny: The Big Love actress may be known for her quirky fashion choices, but she's perfectly chic in her one-shoulder, dotted Isaac Mizrahi gown with a bold brooch on the hip.
My thoughts: You know I love me some polka-dots. But to the Emmys? Really?

Mary-Louise Parker: Forget the gowns! The best actress nominee for Weeds shows off her gorgeous gams in a purple, bow-topped Zac Posen dress and sparkling slingback heels.
My thoughts: Looks like a Christmas present waiting to be unwrapped. But wait. It’s purple. Kwanzaa???

The Ugly
January Jones: Should have stuck with the Betty Draper look. This looks like a kindergarten snowflake gone bad.

Phoebe Price: She looks like Cinderella AFTER midnight

Nancy O’Dell: Oh my god it’s like a rainbow and a cookie sheet collided

Sarah Silverman: There is nothing funny about that dress. Hire a new stylist.

Victoria Rowell: Ok, I get it, you like Obama. I do too. But I don’t plaster his face across my abdomen.

Lunch with a legend

...and pasta salad wasn't the only dish I got.

Monday at work I had the opportunity to attend a luncheon with former Giants great Michael Strahan. He was a defensive end for 15 years, holds the record for sacks in a single season (22.5) and lead the Giants to their 2008 Superbowl win over the undefeated New England Patriots. Michael was in our office to promote his new fall TV series Brothers, but the conversation quickly turned to the field as he graciously answered all of our burning football questions. Let’s recap:

 

He likes the Giants this year (though he admits his inherent bias). He also thinks the Jets are much improved and likes Eagles, Packers and Pats.

 

He says talking to Eli Manning is like watching paint dry. BUT he’s the hardest working member of the team and a great QB.

 

He thinks Brett Favre might have ruined his legacy. No one but Mike Ditka remembers Dan Marino’s last game (in which he played so poorly he was benched in the second half) but Michael doesn’t think Favre fans will forget this betrayal as easily.

 

Speaking of the Midwest… “When the team bus pulls into Philly or Pittsburg or Washington we get spit on, things thrown at us, and generally abused. When the team bus pulls into Minnesota or Wisconsin, we get the thumbs down.” : )

 

Which brings me to the best part of the interview— his feelings on the Dallas Cowboys. Now don’t get me wrong, Michael has hate for the Eagles and the Redskins, but at least he respects them. The Cowboys on the other hand are a whole other beast. “America’s team? What kind of shit is that? I’m from Houston and I ain’t never been a Cowboy’s fan. They’re just so F’ing full of themselves. Oh, the whole thing about the hole in their roof so that God can watch… Jerry Jones just didn’t want to pay the extra ten bucks to have it completed.” Ok, so I might have added a few expletives, but the point is that it was an impassioned hate that I think much of football loving America can relate to. $5 to the next punter who hits the screen.

One way or another

As Dad always says, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

 

I came close to winning both my leagues last week but ended up losing everything in the end. I was tied for the top in my NFL Pick Em league and the tiebreaker went down to total points in the late Monday game. When I set my picks over a week ago, the random number generator in my head thought, “hmmm, 56 seems like a nice, solid number.” I mean, it’s a great temperature for sweaters and scarves, if you add the digits together you get 11 which was my longtime soccer number, AND the numbers are right next to each other on the computer and I’m lazy. SOOO I picked 56 and it ended up losing me 20 bucks to the jerk who hit 44 right on the head. Stupid palindromic numbers. On the bright side, the Broncos pulled it out in the end, making me look like a genius, and the Vikes are undefeated!

 

As far as fantasy goes, my guys played well but were no match for the late-game heroics of Tom Brady. I’ve got to hire my buddy Michael Strahan to get back on that field and take him out. Vikes defense got me a solid 10, Matt Ryan was steady with 2 TDs and 0 picks and Larry Fitzgerald got off to a good start. Clinton Portis was a bit of a disappointment, but I’m going to blame the Giant’s D, keep him in for next week, and bench Barber in place of Ryan Grant. It’s a gamble, so I’m crossing my fingers.

Thoughts for a rainy Saturday

A few quick thoughts before I settle in to watch some college football and bake cupcakes for tonight’s soirée.

 

1.     I should be watching ESPN College Gameday right now. I miss cable.

2.     Just saw that Missouri is ranked number 25. Go Tigers!

3.     First game tonight at the gopher’s TCF Bank Stadium. The parents will be there, so a more detailed report will follow. Apparently everyone in Minnesota thinks it’s a bad sign that both Air Force and Air Force One will both be in town today.

4.     Finalized my picks for tomorrow’s games. Pretty standard favorites with the exception of Denver over Cincy.

5.     This blog post is pure genius. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090910

Click the link below to read a few of my favorite parts.

 

“For eight solid months, we have been planting the seeds for the loopiest football season ever played. Those seeds bloomed this past weekend with something seemingly spawned from NFL Mad Libs: "Shawne Merriman," "Tila Tequila," "3:45 a.m. choking" and ... go! The ensuing fallout led to nearly 500,000 "Did he perform the Lights Out dance afterward?" tweets, Tequila brazenly attacking Merriman through Twitter, me referring to a human being as "Tequila" in print and Merriman's steadfast denial that he did anything wrong. Merriman said he was preventing his "intoxicated" friend from driving home, with the underlying point being, "In case you didn't notice, she has 'Tequila' in her last name and she became famous as a bisexual MTV serial dater." One of the better legal defenses ever.”

 

“Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson for either partying too much (the rumored reason) or gaining too much weight (the real reason, or at least the one I'd wager on in Vegas), followed by Simpson partying even more and gaining even more weight. We might have a new Kirstie Alley on our hands; poor Jess suddenly is built like Kirby Puckett with breasts. (Not that this is a bad thing. I'm actually attracted to Zaftig Clingy No Self-Esteem Jess, my single strangest celebrity attraction since Renee Zellweger put on her Bridget Jones weight.) Did you ever think an NFL offseason could shape about 20 future Us Weekly covers? It's happened, my friends. Sneaky weird.”

*Note the references to Kirby Puckett and Us Weekly. This man is my hero.

 

“Brett Favre changed his mind about playing so many times that when ESPN filmed a "This is 'SportsCenter'" commercial about people in the newsroom passing along the "definitive" word on his latest decision, it had to film two versions -- one in which he came back and one in which he didn't come back -- in case he changed his mind again, and of course, the day the commercial was filmed, news broke that Favre was coming back.”

*Favorite. Commercial. Ever.

 

6.   Fashion week is in full swing here in NYC and the best news is that hot pink is the new black. This is so my year! Other fall trends I’m less excited about include shoulder pads, eighties redux and bondage boots. 

Draft Day Drama

When the living room becomes the war room, watch out for flying spreadsheets

So I’m in a fantasy football league with some family, friends and a few random strangers (CrazyDolFan anyone?) and draft night at the Searle household was the stuff made for a sitcom. It was set to begin at 10 p.m.

 

9:00 I ask Lauren if she’d like to become the tenth member of our league because nine is awkward and nobody likes a bye week. She says sure and looks to dad for parental guidance.

 

9:20 Dad is swearing at the computer because he can’t figure out this “Yahoo Sports login thing.” I mean really. I swoop in, save the day, and get them registered to play.

 

9:40 Dad, Lauren and Mom are trading battle plans by the computer and are yelling at me to stop eavesdropping. I claim parental bipartisanship and bring Mom over to my camp to talk strategy. Shelby is our Sweden.

 

10:00 The draft (aka hilarity) commences. Dad isn’t used to these timed drafts and the first few picks go so fast he can’t keep up on the multiple spreadsheets he’s prepared for the occasion. Papers and curse words fly about his corner as Lauren takes refuge in her bunker on the couch.

 

10:06 From our camp across the room, Mom and I take Larry Fitzgerald with the 8^th pick, Clavin Johnson with the 13^th.  Our receivers got game, but what about a RB? We get in a quick spat over whether CJ was the right choice.

 

10:11 Oh No! Dad’s (ahem… Lauren’s) pick again. “Shoot! Our turn again? How do I get this thing to scroll? Who’s still available?” More curse words, more flying papers, another decent pick.

 

:: repeats every 5-10 minutes for the remainder of the draft ::

 

11:08 Team Lauren and Team Annelise look to have put together respectable teams. Team Stephanie, who was working remotely from San Diego without the help of a spreadsheet wielding father, leaves a little to be desired.

These are a few of my favorite things...

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
— F. Scott Fitzgerald

Football. The all-American sport. The gridiron. Helmet to helmet hits, quarterback sneaks, Hail Mary passes, John Madden and “He-Could-Go-All-The-Way.”

Fashion. London, Paris, Milan, New York. The runway. Six-inch heels, glossy magazine spreads, outrageous designs, and $900 Louboutin pumps.

Okay, so maybe football and fashion aren’t really opposing ideas of the mind, but my goal here is to write about both and prove they don’t have to be so contradictory. If I had the money, I’d proudly hang an authentic Adrian Peterson jersey next to my Marc Jacobs dresses. As it is, my jersey knockoffs hang next to my J. Crew cardigans and I couldn’t be happier. Sundays you’ll find me on the couch or at the bar catching the latest games. Monday I’ll be covering fashion week for the magazine I intern at. Football and fashion. As Julie Andrews would say (or sing, to be exact) these are a few of my favorite things.