Three's a crowd

"Repel them, repel them, make them relinquish the ball.” 

— Harvard football cheer

Okay, so it doesn’t have the same ring as “That’s all right, that’s okay, you’ll all work for us someday,” or “3 points is a field goal, two points is a safety, safety school, safety school,” but seeing as those have both been banned by the school administration, I figured I’d play by the rules. I took in the sights and sounds of the Harvard/Brown game Friday night and in a thrilling matchup of over-educated, under-weight “football players” saw the Crimson defeat the Bears 24-21. Granted, we didn’t sit in the student section, so maybe the shirtless minority clad in crimson power beads has a bit more respect for the sport, but the guy next to me actually asked if the quarters had always been 15 minutes long. True Story. Editors note: to his credit, the game was shortened from 70 to 60 minutes in 1910 during the formation of the NCAA. I highly doubt this is what he was referring to. As an aside, apparently Hermione Granger, err Emma Watson was in the Brown stands. Had I known this at the time this post could have taken an entirely different turn.

Click below for more random musings and a totally awesome song!


All my teams are undefeated!

On Vikings On Tigers On Jets and On Giants. On Sanchez on Manning on Favre the defiant!

(okay, this chilly weather also has me in the mood for Christmas songs!) I know it’s still early in the season, but I got to figure at least one of these teams will make something of themselves and, given my lack of permanent address, I’ll feel free to claim whichever one I choose.

Q: Why is Nebraska’s football field artificial turf and not real grass?
A: So the cheerleaders won’t graze.

I’m probably irrationally angry with the College Football AP Poll for not ranking the Missouri Tigers despite our 4-0 record, but when we make Nebraska cry next Thursday under the lights, I’m pretty sure they’ll take us seriously.

"I Think Therefore I am not a packer fan." — Descartes

It’s rivalry week in Minnesota, which means I need to intensify my hatred toward our cheesy brethren. The Gophers host the Badgers at the new TCF Stadium on Saturday and the Vikings host the Packers at the Dome for some Monday night madness.

Lunch with a legend

...and pasta salad wasn't the only dish I got.

Monday at work I had the opportunity to attend a luncheon with former Giants great Michael Strahan. He was a defensive end for 15 years, holds the record for sacks in a single season (22.5) and lead the Giants to their 2008 Superbowl win over the undefeated New England Patriots. Michael was in our office to promote his new fall TV series Brothers, but the conversation quickly turned to the field as he graciously answered all of our burning football questions. Let’s recap:

 

He likes the Giants this year (though he admits his inherent bias). He also thinks the Jets are much improved and likes Eagles, Packers and Pats.

 

He says talking to Eli Manning is like watching paint dry. BUT he’s the hardest working member of the team and a great QB.

 

He thinks Brett Favre might have ruined his legacy. No one but Mike Ditka remembers Dan Marino’s last game (in which he played so poorly he was benched in the second half) but Michael doesn’t think Favre fans will forget this betrayal as easily.

 

Speaking of the Midwest… “When the team bus pulls into Philly or Pittsburg or Washington we get spit on, things thrown at us, and generally abused. When the team bus pulls into Minnesota or Wisconsin, we get the thumbs down.” : )

 

Which brings me to the best part of the interview— his feelings on the Dallas Cowboys. Now don’t get me wrong, Michael has hate for the Eagles and the Redskins, but at least he respects them. The Cowboys on the other hand are a whole other beast. “America’s team? What kind of shit is that? I’m from Houston and I ain’t never been a Cowboy’s fan. They’re just so F’ing full of themselves. Oh, the whole thing about the hole in their roof so that God can watch… Jerry Jones just didn’t want to pay the extra ten bucks to have it completed.” Ok, so I might have added a few expletives, but the point is that it was an impassioned hate that I think much of football loving America can relate to. $5 to the next punter who hits the screen.

Thoughts for a rainy Saturday

A few quick thoughts before I settle in to watch some college football and bake cupcakes for tonight’s soirée.

 

1.     I should be watching ESPN College Gameday right now. I miss cable.

2.     Just saw that Missouri is ranked number 25. Go Tigers!

3.     First game tonight at the gopher’s TCF Bank Stadium. The parents will be there, so a more detailed report will follow. Apparently everyone in Minnesota thinks it’s a bad sign that both Air Force and Air Force One will both be in town today.

4.     Finalized my picks for tomorrow’s games. Pretty standard favorites with the exception of Denver over Cincy.

5.     This blog post is pure genius. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090910

Click the link below to read a few of my favorite parts.

 

“For eight solid months, we have been planting the seeds for the loopiest football season ever played. Those seeds bloomed this past weekend with something seemingly spawned from NFL Mad Libs: "Shawne Merriman," "Tila Tequila," "3:45 a.m. choking" and ... go! The ensuing fallout led to nearly 500,000 "Did he perform the Lights Out dance afterward?" tweets, Tequila brazenly attacking Merriman through Twitter, me referring to a human being as "Tequila" in print and Merriman's steadfast denial that he did anything wrong. Merriman said he was preventing his "intoxicated" friend from driving home, with the underlying point being, "In case you didn't notice, she has 'Tequila' in her last name and she became famous as a bisexual MTV serial dater." One of the better legal defenses ever.”

 

“Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson for either partying too much (the rumored reason) or gaining too much weight (the real reason, or at least the one I'd wager on in Vegas), followed by Simpson partying even more and gaining even more weight. We might have a new Kirstie Alley on our hands; poor Jess suddenly is built like Kirby Puckett with breasts. (Not that this is a bad thing. I'm actually attracted to Zaftig Clingy No Self-Esteem Jess, my single strangest celebrity attraction since Renee Zellweger put on her Bridget Jones weight.) Did you ever think an NFL offseason could shape about 20 future Us Weekly covers? It's happened, my friends. Sneaky weird.”

*Note the references to Kirby Puckett and Us Weekly. This man is my hero.

 

“Brett Favre changed his mind about playing so many times that when ESPN filmed a "This is 'SportsCenter'" commercial about people in the newsroom passing along the "definitive" word on his latest decision, it had to film two versions -- one in which he came back and one in which he didn't come back -- in case he changed his mind again, and of course, the day the commercial was filmed, news broke that Favre was coming back.”

*Favorite. Commercial. Ever.

 

6.   Fashion week is in full swing here in NYC and the best news is that hot pink is the new black. This is so my year! Other fall trends I’m less excited about include shoulder pads, eighties redux and bondage boots.