Happy Halloween!

"Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen, 

Voices whisper in the trees, “Tonight is Halloween!”

— Dexter Kozen

And in honor of combining the themes of football and fashion, my favorite Halloween costume of the year is: The Plaxico Burress.

Just buy a Plax jersey online, cover your right leg in fake blood, then limp around while holding a fake gun for four hours. 

Should get some good laughs. Have a great day everyone! I'm off to sell some clothes!

Six Feet Under

“It’s not so much a football blog as comment on football blogs...”

For starters, here are some reasons why the number six is awesome.
I was born on the sixth! That has to be divinely inspired right?
The Vikings are now 6-0 and atop the NFC.
Sextuplets = six babies = adorable
Six cupcakes (or any baked good for that matter) make up a half-dozen, which is infinitely cuter than a whole dozen
Balloon Boy Falcon Heene was six years old which doesn’t really make him awesome but the fact that we all spent six hours glued to our TVs a week ago is

Moving on, I lost in fantasy last week and only came in middle of the pack in the pick ‘em league but I’m not too upset given that I spent approximately 1.2 seconds setting my lineups. This whole working 70 hours a week thing is getting old.

I also missed the Missouri game (work, what else is new), but it doesn’t sound like I really missed too much. We play Texas at home on Saturday while celebrating homecoming, but looks to me like people are more excited about the parade and house decks than the actual game. I just hope we can keep it close. Fun fact of the day. The University of Missouri established the first homecoming tradition in 1911, inviting all alumni to “come home” for the annual border battle game against the Kansas Jayhawks. The two teams tied 3-3 but a new tradition was born that quickly spread to colleges and high schools around the country.

Finally, it looks like Denver might be for real this season. I didn’t want to believe it, hoping San Diego could pull out a big division win at home on Monday night, but my sis wasn’t there to cheer them an and they fell to the Broncos. A pre-season blog I read in September picked the Broncos as their sleeper playoff pick and it seems they might have been right.

Fashionably Late

A dedicated reader informed me I might be slacking on the fashion side of things, and who am I to deprive the people of what they want. I recently started a part-time job in retail and can tell you everything you want to know about the world’s finest purveyors of Italian Cashmere. Fun fact number one: The underbelly of a goat isn’t white and that fine sweater you just bought shouldn’t be either. Point is, it’s time to break the huddle and balance this blog. Hut Hut Hut Hike!

Read the latest fashion gossip after the jump!

Between Lindsay Lohan’s fashion debacle, French Vogue’s faux-pau and Ralph Lauren’s blatant support for eating disorders, the world of fashion has been actually been making headlines this month.



I just read this morning that LiLo’s probation has been extended by a year. Something about not showing up for her alcohol awareness classes… Unfortunately the probation doesn’t also extend to her fashion career. After critics panned her Ungaro fashion show in Paris, calling it “an embarrassment” and “a cynical fiasco” she called it a “fairytale” and said she “couldn’t be happier.” She must have been on some powerful, err, medication. She’s since mellowed her tune a bit, blaming a lack of time to put together a full collection, but that still doesn’t explain the nipple tassel fiasco, does it? Have no fear though, Ungaro is keeping her on, so I’m sure more excitement will follow.



The fashion industry hates black people, or at least that’s what the Kanye-West inspired critics of French Vogue are claiming, and it’s hard not to believe them. The latest issue of French Vogue, a publication known for going over the top, included a 14-page fashion spread of Dutch model Lara Stone in blackface. Even more unfortunate is the fact that the entire rest of issue is devoid of actual black models. This whole controversy is bringing to light the blatant racism in the fashion industry (even Naomi Campbell was recently brushed off) and the lack of opportunity for models of color.



Last week, model Filippa Hamilton-Palmstierna spoke out on the Today Show, claiming she was fired from Ralph Lauren for being too fat. A company spokesman claimed the 5-foot-eight, 120-pound model was let go, “as a result of her inability to meet the obligations under her contract with us.” We all know what that means. The celery diet just wasn’t cutting it. Making matters worse, Ralph Lauren already claimed responsibility for the Photoshop butchering that resulted in this Blue Line label ad. A true disgrace to a surprisingly well-proportioned and beautiful model.

High fives might be in order

“While playing beer pong, if you throw it too far and completely miss the table, it is now called a "JaMarcus Russell."

First things first. If the Jets win tonight, I’m $20 richer, so let’s go Sanchez and Co. Of course, I have to thank my very own Touchdown Copernicus for giving me the definitive upset hint of the week: Bengals over Ravens. If only I had trusted him twice and taken Seattle; the money would already be spent.

It was another big win for the Vikings despite their hapless opponent. Coming off a short week is always tough and the Vikes dominated the game from the beginning. Does anyone remember the last time an NFL team from Missouri won a game? No seriously… I think I was still living in the dorms.

Now on to my potentially favorite new NFL topic: quarterbacks worse than Tarvaris Jackson. Meet JaMarcus Russell. The first overall pick in the 2007 NFL draft, he is in line to go down as one of the biggest busts of all time. He went 8 for 13 yesterday against the Giants for 100 yards, no touchdowns, no interceptions and three fumbles. Believe it or not, these numbers actually helped improve his stats. As my dad would say, “He’s T. Jack’s Mississippi.”

Un4gettable

In your face Green Bay!


Never easy against Pack


But I’ll take it, SKOL!!!

—   MN Vikings Blogger

Sorry for the delay in this post, but it’s been such an exciting week in the world of my favorite sports teams, I couldn’t seem to put down the remote and lift up the laptop.

Monday started with an intense Vikings/Packers rivalry matchup at the Dome. I watched the game with GASP some Packers fans at the ESPN Zone in Times Square, only because I was fully confident they would shut up by halftime. The crowd overall was pretty mixed with a combination of Favre supporters and Favre haters, many of whom left after his third touchdown. For those keeping track, he racked up 23.32 fantasy points. Too bad FutbolGirl didn’t play him, opting instead for the lackluster Tony Romo who practically went negative. That’s what you get for breaking up with Jessica Simpson via text message on her birthday. He probably hired that coyote to eat her dog too. Poor Jessica.

Tuesday brought the much-anticipated Twins/Tigers playoff to determine the American League Central division winner. I’ve never seen so many Twins fans in New York! Unfortunately they were the worst kind of fair-weather, only cheering for my beloved Twinkies so that their precious Yankees could beat up on them later in the week. Either way, I think that added support gave the Twins just the 12^th inning boost they needed to topple the Tigers. That team never ceases to surprise me.

Thursday, thinking I was on a roll of possibly the best sports week ever, I whipped out my new gold heals and prepared to M-I-Z myself horse. I met up with the NYC chapter of the Mizzou Alumni Association for some cheap beer, fight songs and a high-five from Truman the Tiger. Unfortunately that was about as exciting as the night got, as my fellow Missouri friends and I were forced to endure one of the most boring halves of football I’ve ever witnessed. When a safety is the most exciting scoring drive of the half, “Houston we have a problem.” We didn’t stay much past halftime, and it doesn’t sound like we missed much, but I’m not giving up hope. We play at Oklahoma State next weekend, which is a tough matchup, but then it’s back to Columbia for Homecoming and some Longhorns on a stick.

Bye week bliss

“We have ‘bye’ on the schedule next week and I think we can beat them.”
— Charlie Weiss

Sometimes a bye week is just what the doctor ordered to pull your team out of a slump. Not that the fabulous Missouri Tigers were in a slump or anything. It’s the sportswriters I refer to here. Last week I grumbled that at 4-0, my beloved Tigers didn’t even crack the AP top-25. I claimed reverse bias. Half the sports writers in this country probably went to Mizzou and would hate to have their ethics called into question. Well question no longer folks because as the Missouri Tigers sat in the lounge of South Hall (lamest dorm name ever, I know, but I hear they have flat screens!) they watched their stock rise as Houston, Georgia, Michigan and Cal all lost. The Tigers now go into Thursday’s primetime matchup against Nebraska ranked 24 in the AP and 18 in the Coach’s poll. According to espn.com, “Sophomore quarterback Blaine Gabbert has been spectacular, throwing for 1,161 yards with 11 touchdowns. He ranks No. 4 nationally in pass efficiency and hasn't thrown an interception in 131 attempts.” Oh, and judging by his constant Twitter updates, he also likes G&D pizza.

My fantasy team also unexpectedly benefited from bye-week player swaps and it looks like I’m headed for my first victory of the season :: fingers crossed :: With Larry Fitzgerald out on a bye, I played Clavin Johnson, Mike Sims-Walker and Lavernaus Coles at wide receiver. The first two performed true to form with CJ racking up 140 all-purpose yards and MSW catching two TDs. LC (fitting name I’m coming to find) continues to disappoint, and would have been benched this week if both Fitz and Maclin weren’t out. Maybe the Bengals need to hire Kristin Cavallari to shake things up Hills style.

My quarterback Matt-swap was the best surprise of the week. I had to start Castle instead of Ryan knowing that the Chiefs are terrible this year and would be going up against a tough Giants defense. I didn’t have much hope. But, despite throwing for just 127 yards, he threw 2 TDs and no picks are racked up 15.79 fantasy points. Take that Drew Brees!

So, as I gear up for a long-awaited Monday night matchup, I’ve got a healthy lead and the Vikings defense and Ryan Grant going tonight. I can smell the victory. Go Vikings!!!